Of Bucket Lists and New Years Resolutions

Toward the end of any given year it seems that you start to read more about making bucket lists and New Years resolutions. I don’t recall ever doing either. I’m sure I have dreams of where I’d like to go some day, but they are dreams. I don’t ever expect them to become a reality.

When it comes to fishing, I seem to be relatively easy to please. I live a two minute walk to a river. A short walk down the river and no one is to be seen. I know many miles of this river where I can get lost, physically, mentally and spiritually. I give little thought to travel, unless it’s the 100 miles to this other river I like. I just might be easy to please.

The last couple of months of 2010 got me thinking. On a personal note, times are a bitch work wise and financially. That affects everything. When you watch your finances and income literally disappear to virtually nothing, it’s hard to make plans for the week let alone think about anything that might happen the next 12 months.

So I guess my bucket list and resolution for 2011 is pretty simple.

I want a job.

A job in the graphics industry, as a production artist. I’ve been doing that for 27 years, half my life.

What has made this so tough is that since 1995, I’ve been freelancing. No full time job, no full time benefits, but pretty good pay when things were going pretty good.

I’ve been asked numerous times about unemployment benefits. No, we’re not allowed. It doesn’t matter that I pay a Self Employment Punishment Tax that is at least 13% more than than those that work regular full time jobs. We are not worthy.

In the last 4 years the graphics industry has gone in the toilet. At least for those that hit 50 years of age. You become invisible, useless. People you’ve known and have worked for over the past 25 years don’t even give you the courtesy of a response to an email. Three months ago I sent out about 50 notes to all I know. “Got work? Know anyone that’s got work? Anyone got work coming up?”

Of course I was much more professional about it. If I had received a note like that, I would have responded one way or another. Apparently only two others I know think like me. The rest may as well not exist and the two couldn’t help.

I spend the bulk of my day dwelling on work and the lack of it. Which leads to dwelling on money and the lack of that. Every day, submit resumes, get no response. Maybe 1 out of 20 will respond. Thanks, but we don’t have anything for you. Doesn’t matter that the job ad read like they cut and paste my resume into the job listing. Sorry, we don’t feel you qualify. Really? Then why did you steal pieces of my resume to make your job listing?

I’ve had 3 head hunters tell me, when the ad says 3-5 years experience, they want someone under 30. If it says 5-10 years experience, they want someone under 35. They won’t even present my resume to anyone and tell me I should consider getting out of the industry, I’m wasting my time.

Today I applied for another one. They want to hire 2 Entry Level Production Artists. Kids pretty much right out of college. Willing to pay $15 an hour. So I sent this:

I have been searching for freelance or full time production artist positions since May of 2010. It seems that the graphics industry has decided to abandon those of us that reach a certain age and have chosen to be production artists. Even though we have been working on Macs since the late 80’s and can produce virtually anything that needs to be printed, for some reason our skill level is no longer required or needed.

If you change your mind about needing Entry Level Production Artists and would consider hiring one with 27 years experience instead, it would probably surprise you to find out that this experience can be had for $20 an hour. Not much more than you are willing to pay those with virtually no experience.

I have no doubt that won’t win me points, but it needed to be said. I might start sending that to everyone from now on. Not going to hire me anyway, so who cares if they don’t like what I have to say.

Of Bucket Lists and New Year’s Resolutions?

It doesn’t matter. I can’t go anywhere, gas costs money. I can’t travel, I can’t buy anything. I already know what some are thinking, you don’t need money. Go fish the river 2 minutes from you, go walk the nearby woods, be grateful for your good health, kids, wife and on and on.

True, those things I can do and am grateful for. But, lack of job and money colors everything. I was talking to a friend the other day about this. I have no interest in writing things down, wandering the woods or being near the waters. I dwell on my predicament. It colors everything.

If things don’t turn around soon, they get worse. I’m behind on child support. In Illinois, if you’re behind 30 days you can’t get a fishing or hunting license, so come March, that’s it. I can’t pay rent, I’m behind on that. Health insurance won’t get paid for next month, for me or my kids. Car insurance is next, then cell phone. Luckily the wife is working and can take care of a few things, but not that much.

I’m looking at jobs that pay $9 to $12 an hour. Only they don’t call me back. But if one did, I’m still screwed. My lifestyle is far from what can be called lavish, but I do like electricity, gas perhaps. Food is nice.

Bucket Lists and New Years Resolutions? I don’t think so.

I want a job.

One in the industry I was told would serve me well throughout my life instead of being abandoned by it with comments of being too old.

One that pays a livable wage. Being a $50 a day laborer is not a livable wage.

And the one thing that really gets me is that here in this part of Illinois, there are few that don’t know who I am from a fishing standpoint. I’ve been active in the outdoors for 14 years. I appear in local papers, written up by others, almost every week.

I have guided, given river fishing classes, spoken to numerous local fishing clubs and organizations. Some of those gatherings happened at the local big box stores. I have applied at Bass Pro, Gander, Cabelas and have not even received the courtesy of a return note or phone call.

Maybe writing this was the catharsis I needed. A way to get shit off my chest and out of my head. You’ll notice my last post was near the beginning of December. Maybe with this done I can get on to the dozen other blog posts and articles I have rattling around in my head. They’re all pretty good when viewed from this side.

Maybe this should be my bucket list and resolution, to vent, to flush that mental toilet, to get out of my system all the nonsense stored up from the past year. Get it out so the good stuff has a chance.

Till my electricity gets cut off at least.

Postscript. . .

No, really, you don’t want me to do that.